As a lady with a broken family, I really understand feeling fragile and broken and like you’re starting from a broken foundation. Confidence can feel extremely distant when you’re support system is either not present or harming who you are trying to be.
Family problems can result in a confusion of who you really are, what your purpose and place in life are, and the fears of not being strong enough or deserving enough to shine.
When my dad first relapsed I was 12 years old. My mom was addicted to alcohol and suddenly my best friend, my dad, was no longer there either. It was traumatic because I didn’t feel safe telling my friends or teachers, but I also didn’t feel safe in my own home.
I had no one to talk to and if you’re trying to be a superhero and hold it all together like I did, it’ll physically affect your well being. Being confident while you’re also experiencing bodily dysfunctions is nearly impossible for any human to handle.
Personally, I physically could not eat. I had a hole in my stomach and when I put food into my mouth my stomach would reject it and I would spit up before even starting to chew. I was under 80 pounds and people called me anorexic.
I had real anxiety attacks. I once went to the coffee shop and tried handing the cashier money and my body froze. I couldn’t lift my arm and my head felt so light I lost my words. I felt like I was in a spell.
I felt like I didn’t deserve my parents love and that I was a burden to the world and that’s why I was in my situation. I wrote about suicide.
So how did I overcome these anxieties, physical ailments, and serious life doubts? It came from within. It was a process of learning about myself and being reflective of my situation.
The greatest part of our story is that while we can’t control the events in them, we can control the way we shape our narrative around them and that’s where confidence lives. We can take control of our voice.
People that are affected by family problems are in every way deserving of confidence. If you’ve been struggling with confidence like I was I hope that I can help you.